Revelations

well, as a couple of you know, i discovered a line in a relient k song, incidentally enough, a song i don't really care for too much, but this line really struck a chord in my own personal life. the line runs as thus: "but the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair".

it just so reminds me of our Heavenly Father. God completely does not have to forgive us anything, but instead, He sent His only son to die for each and every one of us, to pay the price of our sin. we messed our own lives up so badly, that we could never ever possibly save ourselves, as i'm sure each and every one of can attest, i know i sure have. but, by sending Jesus to die for our sins, the schism we created with sin was bridged by Jesus' death and resurrection.
now, God could fully show us His awesome grace. able to reach each and every one of us now, He stretches out His hand to me, and patiently guides me along, even as i trip and stumble. with all the stupid decisions i make, He's there to help me right back up again, and the only reason i'm ever down for so long, is because i'm stupid and don't feel like accepting His help, cause it may be uncomfortable for a brief period of time. and something i always forget is this: God does not owe me a single thing. not one thing. He is sovereign, He created me! He is perfectly permitted to just make me, see that i'm a sinful ungrateful little thing, and drop me there on the ground and walk away. "better luck next time," could be the words leaving His lips as he disappointedly turns to His next project. but no! instead, He pieces everything together, so that anything in my life can completely transform it, so i will turn back to Him and His amazing love. "my precious child, i love you so much!" is more like what He tells me as He brushes the dirt off my knees, and wipes the tears from my face. He invests so much thought and planning into me, and completely loves me unconditionally. when i stop and think about it, it's absolutely astonishing. the God who created the whole universe loves me! smart-mouthed, selfish little me! and He doesn't do it because He has to, but because He wants to.
which brings me back to the song. grace does make life not fair. so often, i whine to God, "but this is not fair! life is so hard right now, why can everyone else do this, but i have the only parents who don't let me do [insert activity of choice]" but God is gracious. He gives me what i don't deserve. He gives me what i need, even if i don't realize that i need it. if i wanted life to be 'fair', i would be stuck in the meaningless and pointless rut of everyday life, with no hope of ever getting out.
when i think of my troubles in this perspective, it's amazing how quickly i realize how self-centered i've become. it is so easy to slip into the mindset that God owes me something, that since i've 'accepted Christ into my heart' (like i did Him a favor or something?) and since i'm a Christian, He needs to give me an easy life. God is so awesome! i should be falling on my face in worship, not questioning why He isn't making my life easier! but gently, He shows me in subtle, (and sometimes not so subtle,) ways, that all i need to do is follow Him. His way really is the best way, and as much as i try, my feeble attempts at guiding my own life always end up in a crash and burn situation.
God is so good. i am so amazed at His greatness, His love for me, and His love for every single person.
i wholeheartedly thank God that grace really does make life not fair.

~m.r.p.