Outsmarting Lower Life Forms... Always a Challenge

ha, ok, so it's story time. funny things happened this morning, it was great. let me begin with a little background fer y'alls.
my job is feeding my neighbor's dogs whenever she happens to be out of town. this is a good, simple job, i really enjoy it, one that is easy enough for me to suitably accomplish, without too much hassle. unless, of course, she leaves 'the dog'. this is no ordinary dog, my friends, no, this is really a demon in disguise. the bane of my existence, this pitbull hates my guts with a burning passion. she's sneaky, too. in front of my neighbor, she slobbers all over me, and is all cute and cuddly, in a way only pitbulls can be. but then, once my neighbor is gone, mayhem ensues. a devilish grin plasters itself all over this dog's face, and a low growl begins to perpetually hum from the back of her throat.
but, i digress. my story, which took place early this morning, actually began sometime yesterday evening, when i was doing my best to bed the dogs down for the evening. feeding the other dogs was a cinch, they love me dearly, so i just plopped their food down in front of them, and they went to town. B.G., (as the beast is named), disgustedly watched as my bare hands touched her food, and refused to eat it. sniffing, she sashayed off, snobbily ignoring my best efforts at reconciliation. slightly hurt, i pretended not to notice, and gathered her food up before the other dogs scarfed it down.
then, it was time for bed. i was supposed to be leaving any moment, so i tried to hurry, before my ride showed up. the other dogs went inside, just as they were supposed to, acquiesing to my quiet pleas to come in. B.G., on the other hand, began a cacophonous flurry of throaty barks. startled, i stepped back, more annoyed at being disobeyed than frightened, though i'll admit, fear did play a small factor in my slight retreat. after pleading, shouting, threatening and sobbing gently for a good fifteen minutes, i gave up, and instead went to a party.
arriving back home around midnight, i tried once more to get this dog inside. not for her own comfort, but because i knew there would be problems if she got herself lost, i headed over. nearing the end of my driveway, the dog heard me. she freaked out. barking her silly head off, she avoided my grasping hands using wide circle tactics, clearly enjoying every second of my life i wasted trying to get her to go inside. cringing, i finally gave up, and with an angry whispered threat that promised ultimate doom and imminent death, i went to bed.
sadly, i still had the morning to reckon with. awakening, i realized i still had to figure out how to get her inside. heart heavy, i dragged my unwilling feet over to my neighbor's, trying like mad to think up a way to outsmart this dog.
heavily, i dropped the other dogs' food bowls onto the porch. i turned my back for a second as i re-entered the house, but when i looked back, i noticed B.G. trying to sneakily eat a few mouthfuls of the food. eyebrow cocked, i tapped on the window to get her attention. guiltily, she looked up at me, and then darted off, pretending innocence. but it was too late. she was hungry, and i knew it. this was it, my big break.
being the amazingly brilliant, tactical genius that i am, i devised myself a plan, that could be the envy of most any man. flinging the back door wide open, i placed a food dish, heaped with dog food, in the middle of the floor, a straight shot from the open door. quite visible to B.G., she began drooling: slow long strands of saliva falling pitifully to the ground. noticing my triumphant smirk, she shot off, feigning indifference. knowing that she wanted food, however, i walked out the front door, and then ambled around back, planning on slamming the door shut behind her, trapping her within the confines of the house. after i decided i had given her plenty of time, i quickened my pace, and leaped onto the porch, ready to slam the door, but just as i reached for the handle, she slipped out. words that are not appropriate for this post almost left my mouth, but i bit my tongue, and instead yelled "crud, crud, crud, crud, crud!!" over and over, until i felt better. thus alleviated, i tried again. i knew she was still hungry, so i left the door open, but this time, using my cutting edge brilliance, i removed my shoes, and sprinted around back. giving her no time to respond, i slammed the door shut with a triumphant "HA!" and then began a victory dance. if any other people saw me, they must've thought i was crazy, a girl dancing around in her pajamas laughing at the dog inside. thankfully, i don't think anyone saw me, but i was too pleased with myself to care anyways. entering the house, which now thankfully contained the dog, i began to chuckle. the chuckle died though, as i realized B.G. was nowhere in sight. now, i wouldn't put an ambush past that dog. she's clever enough to plan a full scale battle, so i carefully peeked around every corner, until i found her, her loss written all over her face. sad eyes peered resentfully up at me, as she nursed her wounded pride in the overstuffed armchair that she wasn't supposed to be in. victorious, i swept out of the room, and across the street, to my own home, where i recounted my triumph to any and all who would listen.