Flies

I loathe them. Loathe here meaning something along the lines of abhor, despise, hate, detest, and any other words that are missing from that entry in the thesaurus. I had a very personal experience with them today, sadly, which i shall chronicle here:

it all began innocently enough. it was a beautiful sunny day, and very warm. i, being the wonderful procrastinator i am, decided that i would wait until eleven pm tonight to start my seven pages of writing assignments, and go for a walk. heading out, armed with music and a smile, i began my walk around the block. technically, i probably only walked half the block, but as this half a block was already five miles long, i decided i didn't need to go the full length.
with a spring in my step, and music in my ears, i jauntily began my sojourn. soon, however, the spring was gone. the sun began beating rather heavily on my poor out-of-shape body, and i was wishing for some breeze, or anything to protect me from the scorching heat.
thankfully, a breeze did pick up, and that made it much nicer. the spring back in my step, i cheerfully waved at an elderly couple tottering along the other side of the road. i was rewarded with a pair of scowls, and a muttering of, "kids these days!"
slightly chagrined, i soon shook it off, as i carefully stepped over a very squashed snake. the roadkill was amazing on these roads. there was a bird every fifty feet or so, and the occasional cat, possum, and as previously mentioned, snake.
about four miles into my trek, i grew weary. no breeze could replace the spring in my step, so i decided to seat myself somewhere. now, out in the county, there really isn't that many places to respectably seat oneself. benches do not flourish abundant, and sidewalks are far and few between. so, i settled for the next best thing: the ditch.
i discovered a shady little spot near trees, where there were few houses, and i sat down in the ditch, after discovering a newly discarded car mat, quite happy.
settling back, i inspected my newfound utopia. small ferns curled up about my feet, and trees grew tall and shady. canary grass shot straight up all about my head, creating a nice shield for my body, from the unwanted eyes of curious passer byers, who wondered why there was a strange girl in the ditch.
i remained there for quite a while, completely unaware of the time, until a squirrel overhead became quite agitated. squeaking like crazy, i couldn't understand what it was so worried about, until i heard my phone ringing. once i turned it off, the squirrel went quiet, but by then, the mood had been ruined.
wearily, i dragged myself up out of the ditch, and resumed my walk home. i was now on the last leg. staggering forward, i slowly gained momentum, as i avoided the cars, bikes and dogs that suddenly had sprung out of the woodwork to haunt me and my pedestrian habits.
mostly successful, i was abruptly taken over by a swarm of flies. they began slowly at first, to get my guard down. one would dive in my left ear, and then leave as soon as i swatted at it. then, another one would dive into my right ear, buzz about a bit, and then take off. soon, i had a squadron of the insects dive-bombing me all about my face, neck and arms. twitching and swatting alternately, i became somewhat crazed in my irritation. succeeding in killing only a few, i considered sprinting the remaining mile towards my home, where i would at least be safe. quickly shunning this idea as my knees began to buckle underneath me, i persevered in swatting at the flies.
when my home was finally in sight, after a long and agonizing fifteen minutes, i had succeeded in the annihilation of approximately ten flies. five more still remained, buzzing about, being their annoying, grimy selves. i gave up, and let them crawl on me, let their germ-infested feet acquaint themselves with my earlobe, let their many faceted eyes gaze at my hand, vanquished, hanging at my side in defeat. i lulled them into a false sense of security, very successfully. suddenly, i was on them, smacking left and right, half mad with revenge. just as i reached my house, i killed the last one, and roared in triumph. as i announced my coup to my mother, she looked quizzically at me, and simply said, "congratulations."

slightly deflated, i soon got over it. i am now enjoying a newly acquired CD, and thoroughly recommend hawk nelson's song "something on my mind" to all you fans of rockish music. now, it's off to microsoft word, where i shall be busy trying to write pages of an epic myth.

oh oh! i remember what i was going to ask all you faithful readers: i have a history project due soon, what should i do it on? 18th century american history is my topic, what should my project be?

k, that's all now.

~m.r.p.